Pareema's+Page

Dear All People of the World,

Whenever you gobble down a piece of chicken or some shrimp, what do you feel? I am guessing satisfied.... right? Did you ever take the chance to "be in the animals shoes", and think about how they must've felt? Did you ever realize that animals have a life too? Did you ever think about that animal's family, and how they would have felt when their family member was being gobbled down with some barbecue sauce? Us, humans do not really care what we do to those innocent animals, and that should just really stop. Don't you just feel sad when you eat a baby animal or any animal... knowing that you have taken away a life? We take advantage of animals, knowing that they cannot speak, or stand up for themselves. That is just selfish, and mean. You do not really need to eat that animal to survive! I say to let the animals live, and let them fully enjoy the advantage of life! Have you ever wanted to-


 * not worry about getting diseases from animals
 * eat healthier
 * keep the environment balanced by keeping the animals for the later life to enjoy.

If you said yes to any or all of these questions, then you should become a vegetarian. Let’s say that you just found out you have a disease like cholesterol or diabetes, a simple way to get a little healthier is to become a vegetarian! People that are vegetarian actually have a lesser chance of getting diseases like cancer, heart problems, strokes, and diabetes! If you want to become healthier, then this is a simple way to get healthier. You will be affected in a very positive way, and the animals will really appreciate us by not eating them. Also, we should just stop killing animals for any purpose at all. We should stop getting ivory, and hunting eagles, and stop killing every animal, or before you know it the panda will become extinct and the later humans will have no history about the animals from our time.

I know that you may say that “this is not possible! Or that we cannot just stop! Many businesses will close down!” But, it is very possible! You know that saying that if one human can do it than all humans can do it! I am a vegetarian myself, and so are many other people. Well, apply that phrase now, and I am sure that you can do it, and I am sure that you will be proud of yourself. We can stop, and we can do it for the sake of the animals! Those meat businesses that may close down can turn their specialties into something very similar tasting, but vegetarian!

AFFECTED PEOPLE PARAGRAPH- The people that will be affected is meat eaters. They will be affected in a positive way, because they will have less chances of getting diseases like cancer, heart problems, and much more. Plus, when the swine flu is going on, it will give you fewer chances of that. Less animals will be extinct, and it will really make a positive difference in your health. Questions- 1.) What could I have done better in the affected people paragraph? 2.)  What can I add to make my affected people paragraph to make it better? 3.) What can I add to my bullets? 4.)  Is there anything wrong in this essay?